For adults with a stutter, it’s often been a part of their speech from a young age. If it isn’t treated in childhood, it lingers there for life, or until you find a way to overcome it. The sad part is that too many people never ever find that alternate way to speak and find their inner voice.
The real key to understand is that the problem isn’t the stutter itself. It is the fact that the stutter has trained your mind to fear the act of speech.
Every person who has stuttered their way through their education days has vivid memories, sometimes flashbacks even of what it was like to be ridiculed during school.
You’ll likely have experienced this at some point too. Standing somewhere, maybe in the playground with your friends, and then the enemy approaches – the smart little kid from around the block, with all his cronies, there to make fun out of you.
Approaching, he shouts over: I know you but I forget your name? What is it again?
Right there and then you’re frozen stiff in a bout of pain, knowing fine well, you’re about to take the bait and say your name and that it is unlikely to come out fluently.
It’s the only time that willpower seems to actually work, when you’re totally scared stiff, filling up with anger and resentment, both at those trying to mock you and at yourself for not being able to say the simplest of things.
Then out of nowhere, out it comes. The burst of explosive energy from the back of your throat that you never knew was there.
What’s it to you what my name is? You begin to yell back at the kid trying to make a mockery of how you speak. You did it though. You yelled it out, maybe even threw in a few curse words for good measure.
WOW you think to yourself. That felt awesome!
The pent up frustration is released, but more than that, it feels good just to be able to get a sentence out your mouth without stuttering.
Never did you ever stop to think how in the heck you were able to yell an entire sentence without stuttering a single time.
Do you ever wonder why that is?
I did, and I still don’t know the answer!
The only thing that seems to make sense is the fact that when you know you’re going to stutter, you will. The more you think about it, the more anxious you get and while some will say that’s what makes you stutter more, I say, it can to a certain extent. But it can also make it better.
Samuel L Jackson is one man who discovered that his ultimate weapon in the fight against his stutter was to throw in the word “mother****er” and then he’d be able to speak normally.
The reason given is…
That word is filled with negative emotion, energy, annoyance and aggression. Just saying it relieves much of your negative emotions.
That’s what fills us adults with dysfluency issues.
Nothing to do with the words being stuck on the tip of our tongues as we try to draw stale breath and spit them out through gnarled teeth.
Instead of focusing on treating the stutter, treat your mind to a little R & R. Be more forgiving on yourself. It won’t hurt to forgive those that seem to enjoy ridiculing you either. Just tell yourself – they don’t know any better.
The best way to cope with stuttering is through acceptance.
If you can’t accept that you’re still you regardless of how you speak, you’re never going to have the confidence to speak to any stranger without worrying about getting the words to roll off your tongue.
Acceptance is the true healer.
Accept you and you’ll find your inner silenced voice soon enough.